Maybe This Wasn't Such a Good Idea
by insaneshadowfangirl
Summary: Hilarity ensues when the Sonic Crew meets up with a crazy author! A series of oneshots for me to post when I can't think what to do next. No pairings, No yaoi, just laughs. Complete until further notice!
1. Eggman

Maybe This Wasn't a Good Idea

Insane: Hey, peeps! This is a veeeeeeery special story! I'll update when I have writer's block!

Sonic: Uhhh... What's it about?

Shadow: Insane.

Sonic: Huh?

Shadow: It's about Insane's encounters with the Sonic cast. Each chapter is a different character.

Scourge: BUT! Insane doesn't own Sonic and co. Or anything else you may recognize.

Insane: Please let me know what character to do next when you R&R!

Sonic: First up. . . Eggman!

* * *

Dr. Eggman rubbed his mustache thoughtfully. He had done it! He had finally captured someone who knew all of the Sonic Team's many secrets! Now, all he had to do was get her to spill.

This had to be the greatest idea EVER!

As the oval-shaped doctor walked down to the dungeon where his prized captive was being held, he heard... Singing?

_"This is the song_

_That never ends!_

_It just goes on and on,_

_My friends!_

_Some people_

_Started_

_Singing it,_

_Not knowing what it was,_

_And now,_

_They keep on_

_Singing it forever just because_

_This is the song_

_That never ends!_

_It just goes on and on,_

_My friends!_

_Some people_

_Started_

_Singing it,_

_Not knowing what it was,_

_And now,_

_They keep on_

_Singing it forever just because_

_This is the song_

_That never ends!_

_It just goes on and on,_

_My friends!_

_Some people_

_Started_

_Singing it,_

_Not knowing what it was,_

_And now,_

_They keep on_

_Singing it forever just because. . ."_

The doctor walked up to the cell where the captive girl continued singing. She waved, but didn't stop; in fact, she sang louder.

Eggman turned to Metal Sonic, who was guarding the cell door.

"How long has she been at this?"

**"Six hours, forty-eight minutes. My audio circuits will never be the same."**

Eggman decided enough was enough and shouted over the girl's singing.

"GIRL! SHUT UP!"

The girl instantly quieted. But, Eggman quickly realized he should've worded that better. Within a split second, her shocked expression became one of fury, anger, and hatred.

**"WHAT THE FUCKING CHAOS DID YOU JUST TELL ME! ? !"**

She stood up, and walked to the cell door. Giving the doctor a death glare that Shadow would be proud of.

**"FIRST, MY NAME IS INSANE! YOU _WILL_ ADDRESS ME AS A _LADY_, DAMMIT! THAT'S 'MISS INSANINTY', 'MISS FANGIRL', OR 'AUTHORESS'! SECOND, NOBODY, _NOBODY_, TELLS _ME_ TO SHUT UP!"**

Eggman stared in horror as Insane kicked the high security cell door open and marched up to him.

She put her hands on her hips and glared.

"Any questions?"

Eggman was silent. How in the world did she do that?

"Good."

And she slapped him across the face.

"How the fuck do I get outta here, Tubba Blubba?"

Eggman rubbed his temples. This wasn't such a good idea after all...

"Metal, escort. . . Miss Insanity. . . To the exit."

**"Affirmative"**

_And I'm never going to mess with her again._

* * *

Insane: Awesomesauce!

Sonic: Wooooow...

Shadow: You sang "The Song That Never Ends" FOR SIX AND THREE QUATER HOURS? O.O

Insane: What? It never ends.

Sonic: Okay, who next?

Insane: That's for the reviewers to decide!

Scourge: So, R&R!

~Insanity OUT!~


	2. Shadow

Maybe This Wasn't Such a Good Idea

Insane: IIIIII'M BAAAAAACK, PEEEEEPS!

Sonic: Okay, according to my new review tracker, next up...

Scourge: IS SHADOW!

Shadow: WHAT! ? !

Insane: I don't own anything you may recognize! R&R! Lemme know who's next!

* * *

Shadow the hedgehog was not often reduced to this. A begging, pleading, wreck. In fact, he thought he COULDN'T be reduced to this.

That was before he met Insanity Fangirl.

**Eight hours eariler~**

"Hey, Shads!"

"What do you want, Faker?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"What, exactly?"

"Well, I've got somewhere I need to be, and I need someone to keep an eye on a friend of mine. But don't worry, she's no trouble!"

What a liar.

"I don't want to, Faker."

"Aw, come on! I'll give you a Chaos Emerald!"

Well, Shadow didn't have an Emerald at the time, so that sealed the deal. How hard could it be?

"Okay, Faker. Whatever."

"Awesome! I'll send her over to your place in a half hour."

And so, Shadow skated off to prepare for his guest.

It was only later he realized he'd never asked WHO.

He was going to regret that.

**Half an hour later~**

_Ding-dong!_

Shadow grumbled as he got the door. Before he could open it, the door was flung open and the ebony hedgehog was glomped at such high velocity that he and his "attacker" were flung against the far wall.

"SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADZIIIEEEEEEE!"

Shadow managed to catch a glimpse of that cursed blue faker running away as fast as he could after leaving a lilac colored backpack on the doorstep.

Pushing the human girl off of him, Shadow stood up. Immediately, she grabbed onto his ankle as though hugging it.

After failing to free his ankle from her death grip, Shadow dragged her across the floor so he could inspect the backpack that Sonic had left behind.

Embroidered on the front was:

_**Insanity Fangirl Emergency**** K****it**_

Safety-pinned to the bag was a letter. Shadow tore it open.

_Shads,_

_The girl's name is Insanity Fangirl. Call her Insane. Enclosed you'll find a list of what to do to keep her occupied._

**_1. KEEP HER HAPPY. When angry, she gains almost supernatural strength, and other things that will scare the living daylights out of even you. When she cries, natural disasters strike, and can cause an early apocalypse._**

**_2. If she starts to get upset, there are tools in the bag. Give her a cookie (Oreo) if she's sad, but give her a Starcrunch if she's angry. DON'T MIX THEM UP!_**

**_3. Exactly eight minutes after she gets to your house, she will want to play hide and seek with you and Tails Doll. DO NOT REFUSE._**

**_4. Yes, the doll is possessed. Yes, it's evil. Yes, it's a murderer in its spare time. No, it won't hurt Insane. No, it won't hurt you unless you threaten Insane. Yes, Tails Doll is overprotective of her._**

**_5. No matter WHAT she wants to play with you, DO IT._**

**_6. She has a pet chainsaw named Scooter. Don't ask. She can pull it out of thin air just like Amy's Hammer._**

**_7. KEEP HER AWAY FROM:_**

**_a. Frootloops_**

**_b. Coffee_**

**_c. Doughnuts_**

**_d. Sugar_**

**_e. Soda_**

**_f. Pizza_**

**_g. Corn_**

**_8. If she's thirsty: MILK OR ORANGE JUICE!_**

**_9. Hungry? ^ avoid the above at #7._**

**_10. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TELL HER TO SHUT UP!_**

**_11. A warning: If this list didn't help you figure it out, she's crazy. Completely insane._**

**_12. In case of emergency, you might find something that will help you in the kit._**

_Thanks a ton for looking after her... If I left her alone something might explode._

_~Sonic_

"SHADZIESHADZIESHADZIE! IWANNAPLAYHIDENSEEKWITYOUNTA ILSDOLL! PLEEEEEEEZEPLEEZEPLEEZE!"

Shadow stared. This was going to be a looong day.

**~Fifteen minutes later**

"Where are you, Insane!" Shadow had been looking for her for the last fifteen minutes. All of a sudden, she landed on top of him from the ceiling.

"Wha?"

"FAKERFAKERFAKERFAKERFAKER!"

"I AM NOT!"

**"YES, YOU ARE."**

"BE QUIET! I WILL NOT BE CALLED FAKER BY A DOLL MODELED AFTER SOMEONE ELSE!"

"BE NICE TO TAILS DOLL!"

"OR WHAT?"

"OR FACE THE WRATH OF SCOOTER!"

And that's how Shadow ended up being chased around by a girl with a chainsaw.

**~20 minutes later**

Shadow had barricaded himself in the bathroom to avoid Chainsaw-Girl. Why had he agreed? Faker was going to owe him a lot more than an Emerald when this was over...

His thoughts were interrupted by a squeal of delight coming from the kitchen. Crap. _What NOW! ?_

"PIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZ ZAPIZZAPIZZA!"

Wait... Didn't that list say...

Shadow threw himself out the door to find Insane running around in circles, shoveling cold, leftover pizza from the fridge into her mouth while screaming about cake.

"Make! I Move Make MO Much! Mit's Melicious!" She yelled with her mouth full.

Tails Doll was floating behind her, also eating pizza.

**"YES. CAKE IS DELICIOUS."**

"ILOVEPIZZASOMUCH!" Then, she saw Shadow. . .

"SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWW!"

And Shadow was once again the victim of a high-speed glomping.

"ILOVEZYOUMYSHADOWKINS! ILOVESYOUSOMUCH!"

Faker was going to DIE.

**~10 minutes later**

Shadow was in the bathroom again. This time, though, he wasn't hiding. . . Nature had called the Ultimate Life-Form.

He would regret not ignoring it.

He returned to the kitchen to find Insane, an empty box, and sugar all over the floor. It was also all over Tails Doll, Insane's face, and in her hair.

Her grin was a mile long.

Shit.

"Insane?"

"!"

She spoke non-stop for ninety seconds, and all Shadow caught was "Sugar".

She'd eaten the entire unopened box of sugar. Which was another thing on the "avoid" list.

"IMMASINGTHEALPHBET! Q, W, E, R, T, Y, U, I, O, P, A, S, D, F, G, H, J, K, L, Z, X, C, V, B, N, M! NOWIKNOWZMAIKEYBOARDLETTERZS INGWITMEHANDITLLBEBETTERZ!

Shadow sighed.

"HEY, SHADZIE!"

The ebony hedgie rubbed his temples. "Yes?"

"HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HOWCOMEYOUALWAYSUSEDTOWORKFO RTUBBABLUBBA? HUH? HUH? HUH? IWANNAKNOWRIGHTNOW! OHPLEEEZETELLMEH! IWON'TTELLANYONE!"

Shadow's response? O_O HOLY CRAP.

"SHADZIE!"

Shadow took a step back.

"LET'SPLAYTEAPARTY!"

Crap.

**~A few hours later**

"GAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

What Shadow had thought was impossible had happened. He was on his hands and knees, begging for the girl in front of him to calm down.

The entire house looked like a tornado had gone through it. The couch had been sawed in half by Scooter, the table was in hundreds of pieces, Shadow was drenched in oatmeal, and lilac paint had been splashed all over the walls.

Of course, this was an excellent time for the faker to come.

Shadow grabbed the insane Author's wrist and shoved her towards Sonic.

"I don't care about the damn Emerald! Just get her outta here! I'm begging you!"

And Shadow swore never to babysit again.

* * *

Insane: COOL!

Shadow: . . . .

Sonic: Review with your character choice!

Scourge: Next up, Knuckles!

~Insanity OUT!~


	3. Knuckles

Maybe This Wasn't Such a Good Idea

Insane: **HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!**

Sonic: **MAKE HER STOP THE NAVI IMPRESSION!**

Shadow: *nursing a migraine from last chapter* Insane! BE **QUIET!**

Insane: I would. . . . . . **BUT I DON'T WANNA!**

Scourge: Okay, Imma get the thing outta the way. Disclaimer: Insane may be crazy, but even she knows that she owns nothing you may recognize. Including Navi!

Insane: WE HAZ A SPECIAL GUEST!

Knuckles: Why am I here?

Insane: So we can see your reaction at the end. Oh, and peeps, I've been getting a lot of reviews asking me to do these one-shots with many different characters, and I think we need some ground rules.

1. NO OC'S! I CAN NOT DO OC'S OR CHARACTERS I DON'T RECOGNIZE, SO I'M SORRY TO THE PERSON WHO WANTED, UM, NAZO, 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHO THAT IS.

2. I CAN'T DO MEPHILES YET, THAT'LL TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT. HE IS MY COUSIN, SO HE KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE ME.

3. I'M SORRY, SONIC ISN'T ON THE LIST. IT'S OBVIOUS THAT HE CAN HANDLE ME, TOO.

Thanks for understanding, peeps. I LUV IT WEN THE PEEPS UNDERSTAND!

Sonic: BRING ON THE TORTURE!

Insane: BRING ON THE FROOTLOOPS!

Shadow: Wait... That was on the "avoid" list! ! !

Knuckles: **SHIT!** SOMEONE HELP MEH!

Insane: REVIEW! Or I'll spam you with Smileys! BUT NO FLAMES!

* * *

It was a quiet day, and Knuckles was at peace. He had just returned to Angel Island after picking up groceries. Yes, groceries. He gets hungry up there, you know! Among the bags was a red cereal box that contained Knux's favorite cereal, Frootloops.

When he reached the shrine, he was startled, but not really surprised, to see Sonic's friend Insane sitting in front of the Master Emerald, staring at the bright green gem with wide eyes.

She showed up randomly, only wanting to harmlessly stare at the giant gem and mutter about how shiny it was. At first, the Guardian had attempted to kick her off the island. That was when he'd learned about her violent mood swings. Long story short, he'd learned that the only way Insane would leave was if he called Sonic and made the puffball pick her up.

So, he approched with caution.

"Hello, Insane. What are you doing here?"

"Well Sonikku had an important meeting with the president-dude and Shadzie said he'd never watch me again so Sonikku says to me, 'Go to Angel Island and hang out with Knuckles!' so I came here but you were gone so I thought I'd wait and I was staring at the M.E. and Tikki came out and said you went to get Frootloops so I waited 'cause I love Frootloops and I hope you'll share, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE OH SHARE WITH ME KNUXY!"

All Knuckles could do was: O_O

_"I am going to **kill** Sonic." _He thought. What he said was, "Sure. Have some Frootloops." _"If it'll shut you up..."_

"Thanks!" She snatched the box out of Knux's hand. Tearing the box and bag inside open, Insane began to shove hundreds of innocent Frootloops into her mouth, screaming, "DIE, FROOTLOOPS, DIIIIIEEE! ALL FROOTLOOPS SHALL BOW TO ME AS THEIR QUEEN! OR DIIIIIIIEEEEE! FOR I AM THE FROOT-QUEEN!"

All Knuckles could do was: O_O

Insane then began running in circles, screaming about corn.

"CORNCORNCORNCORNCORNCORNCORN CORNYCORNCORN!"

All Knuckles could do was: O_O

Insane got in his face.

"What?"

"DOYOULOVEROUGEORSHADEORTIKAL ORSONIA?"

All Knuckles could do was: O_O

At that moment...

"Hey Knux! I'm here to pick Insane up! Sorry for dumping her on you like... DID YOU GIVE HER FROOTLOOPS! ? !"

And Sonic ran off, leaving Knuckles at Insane's mercy.

And all Knuckles could do was: O_o *eye twitches*

There was an enormous crashing sound, and Knuckles turned around to see that Insane had shattered the master emerald, sending shards far and wide.

"DAMN IT TO HELL, INSANITY S. FANGIRL! WHY! ?"

Insane began to cry.

As thunder boomed overhead, Knuckles realized he'd made a huge mistake.

Whenever Insane cried, natrual disasters happened.

_Shit!_

* * *

Insane: The rest is history.

Sonic: And all Knuckles can do is:

Knuckles: O_O

Shadow: Hey, aren't you still grounded from the Internet?

Insane: YUP! NYAAAAAAAA! X3

Scourge: *sigh* Please, peeps, R&R!

Insane: I NEED CHARACTERS TO TORTURE!

Shadow: I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE!

~Insanity OUT!~


End file.
